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Every little thing on earth sparkles

The Secret of Trees by Lok Yee Suen

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「兒子在大自然的時候會特別自在,他會跟樹和昆蟲說話。」

認識畫家諾怡已是幾年前,斷斷續續地聯繫,如同生活切片般,間歇的停留,在某些時候又再度連上。

從前看她畫很多人臉與赤裸的軀體,有趣是人像都不太像真,那讓我想過,也許她看見的是另一面的東西。近年在兒子出生後有一段時間沒看到她的畫,換上是天天和兒子一起上山抱樹的日常。離家不遠的山與海是母子白天的遊樂場,有時乾脆在村裡亂逛。在家也隨心所至,孩子想看書便一起看,或畫畫或做小手工,極尋常的東西,孩子也能變出有趣。「除了生活基本的吃和睡,我們每天都過得不一樣。」

“My son is very much at ease when he is in nature. He’d talk to trees and insects.”

I met the painter Lok Yee Suen a few years ago. Over the years, we often lose touch with each other but we always manage to re-connect.

Lok Yee used to paint faces and naked bodies a lot, and they are mostly abstract; somehow it made me wonder if it’s because she can see that unique aspect of the objects that are not visible to us. Her painting career has been on hiatus for a few years since her son was born. What comes often is the news of how she spends her days with her son in the woods. As they live near the water and mountains, those places become their playground during the day. On occasion, they would wander around the village exploring. A day at home could be fun too. They would read, draw, and craft together. Even the most ordinary thing can be interesting when you are with a child. “Except for eating and sleeping that have to be repeated every day, each day is unique to us.”

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「孩子很無懼,即使那個地方是第一次去,也不感陌生。在很多未知的情況下,他甚至會比我更快的踏前一步,更早去發現。種種小事情讓我感覺到,孩子與大自然之間的連結。」跟著孩子四處拓荒,讓繪本《樹的秘密》逐漸成形,裡面包裹了自己過往的瑣碎、現在與孩子的經歷、加一些想像。繪本中出現的樹精靈,來自她喜愛的日本動畫,宮崎駿的《幽靈公主》。動畫裡的樹精是大地的好朋友,大自然生機盎然的時候,他們就會在。「這不只是兒童繪本,也是給大人看的啊。」因為大人常常忘了,但對孩子來說,很多小小的事物都是閃閃發亮。

“My son is a fearless one. Even if we visit somewhere new and strange, he’d always be the first to go around and explore. There are so many little things like that which made me realize my son has a true connection with nature.” The day-to-day adventures with her son in the woods became an inspiration, and by adding a personal touch and a bit of imagination, her first picture book The Secret of Trees eventually came into shape. In this book, Lok Yee adopts the idea of tree spirits, which is actually a tribute paid to her favorite Japanese animation Princess Mononoke by Hayao Miyazaki. In the animation, the tree spirits are the best friends of the earth. They appear when the flowers bloom and the trees flourish. “This picture book is not just for children, but also for adults.” The grown-ups might have forgotten about their connection with nature, but for the children, every little thing on earth sparkles.

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諾怡說,成為母親後,因為身份的轉變,初期會感覺沒了自己,「剛開始是沒時間沒精神沒能量去創作,某程度上覺得自己不完整、不滿足,很渴望哪天可以再畫,因為這對我來說太重要了,是情緒的出口,是記憶的延續,是與自己的對話,是meditation。」然而孩子卻「成為了我的老師,要我活在當下,給我純粹的愛,也給予我靈感。」

孩子慢慢長大,她又再畫畫了。「我發覺再也畫不到以前的東西,是因為經歷的累積,思想和心態上的轉變,形成了不一樣的我。每個階段的畫都呈現著不同的自己。曾經糾結在這樣的『不同』、或是很想可以再畫到以前的東西。但現在會接受了,因為我畫的東西,還是我啊。」

或者這才是,擁有的意思吧。現在,在這裡。

Lok Yee told me that when she first became a mother, the change of identity made her feel very lost. “In the beginning, I had no time and energy to paint. To a certain extent, I felt that I was incomplete and dissatisfied. I wanted to be able to paint again so badly. Because painting is so important to me. It’s a way to release emotions, a replay of memories, and a dialogue with myself. It’s meditation.” Her son “becomes a teacher who loves me, inspires me, and teaches me to live in the present.”

As her son grew older, she started painting again. “I can’t paint like I used to anymore. What I have experienced over the years have changed how I think and see things. I am no longer the same. The paintings I did at different stages of life reflect a different me. I used to struggle a lot because of these differences. I wanted to paint like I used to. But now, I’ve learnt to accept the different me. After all, these are my paintings. What I draw now is still part of me.”

Maybe this is what living in the present is about. Right now, right here.

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媽媽仍然在做自己熱愛的事,仍然能畫畫創作。滋養著自己的是家人與家中四隻貓。每天起來,腳踏在地上,隨孩子奔跑的身影,看光照出大片溫暖,如果把這些柔軟儲起來放進口袋,那麼即使遇上灰天黑地,也就能把自己穩穩接住。

Lok Yee is still painting and doing what she loves. It’s her family and the four cats at home that give her the comfort and support she needs. Getting up every day, having your feet on the ground, running around with your child under the bright sunlight; it’s days like these that would keep your head up during the darkest time.


這裡預訂《樹的秘密》繪本 / Contact Lok Yee to order your copy of The Secret of Trees.

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