⟨ Book ⟩

I Am Not Afraid of Unexpected Love

A dialogue somewhere between mumbling to oneself and...

Words / Jas Tse
Photography / Kimio Ng
Translation / Iris Heung

原來已經過了兩年。以前一直感覺詩離我好遠,到這一兩年某些時刻突然會想起詩來。抽屜裡前後只有幾本,好像每一本都只屬於某些時刻某些狀態,會翻起的時候沒有佔生活很大部分,但那些時候,卻只有那些詩能撫平與拯救幽暗或激動的情感,去陪自己低吟。兩年後我有了蠻多這種晚上,在自己的時間裡。

Two years had passed before I even realized. I was never interested in poetry before; only until these couple years have I begun to think of poetry from time to time. I have merely a few poetry books in my drawer as if each of them belongs to a very particular moment and state. Although I do not spend much time reading them, when I actually do, only poems have the power to rescue me from darkness and calm me down from over-excitement. Poetries are songs that hum with my soul. In two years time, I began to have more nights like this to spend time with myself.

這半年來反反覆覆去想一個無以名狀的東西,可能是關於維繫長久關係當中的大惑不解、可能只是想褪掉纏著的線、可能也在想到底斷不了的關係更可貴還是更可怕,某些日子當然翻攪得離譜,就好想要平息。這些詩忽然彷似同伴,跟我分享著不太普遍的情感,一把將下墜的我撈起。有時任何人都有可能成為那雙手。重讀網上書店為這詩集寫下的簡介說到:幸好有詩,讓秘密都有了翅膀。

For the past year, I kept thinking about an unexplainable thing. Perhaps it was because of the overwhelming frustration I had with maintaining a long relationship. Maybe I was thinking of untangling the thread that kept me tangled. Could it also be my dilemma pondering whether putting an end to the relationship would lead to a better or worse result? Of course, some days I felt so disturbed and needed a way out. These poems are like an accidental companion that shared with me the emotions that I was not familiar with. They have rescued me from drowning. In fact, anyone could become the pair of helping hands. I tried to reread the introduction of this poetry book on the online bookshop site, it says, “Fortunately, we have poetry to give a pair of wings to all secrets”.

莊東橋畫畫寫詩,《我不懼怕突如的愛》是他出版的第二本詩集。他的引力於我,是把詩寫成了日常,不艱澀。很多等待什麼來到的時間,都在閱讀與呼吸裡發生。常懊惱,腦袋無法完整跟上心理節奏,沒來得及整理就跑走了,大概只有十分之三被記下,若能跟別人談起又成功傳遞得到的嗎,那近乎沒有的機率也仍然是有吧我想。詩,是否就是這樣產生的呢,一種自言自語,同時又是很多人的。

你呢,又是怎樣的心情去讀詩。

TongChiao Chuang is an painter/poet. I Am Not Afraid of Unexpected Love is the second poetry collection he published. I am particularly fascinated by how down-to-earth his writing is. His poems are written in an unpretentious way that is easy to understand. Reading and breathing are the two moments when things and happenings can suddenly come to you unannounced. I often get upset when the pace of my brain is not in sync with that of my mind, it feels as if only one-third of my thoughts can be retained while the rest just slipped through my grip. Will it help if I seek to communicate my thoughts with others? Chances are slim but there should still be one regardless of the low probability. Is this the process of creating poetry? It is a dialogue somewhere between mumbling to oneself and conversing with a greater audience.

How about you? Where is your mind when reading poems?

時間令我感到焦慮。
時間讓我有被遺棄的失落感
究竟誰能夠把我接走?
會是你嗎
還是你栽植的一棵樹

一隻鳥從中竄起振翅而飛
在雨滴的陣裡晃動;
時間讓我在睡不好的清晨再度醒來
我感受到腰椎間的隱隱痠痛,我忍住不發怒
不為自己的脆弱和神經質寫下任何負面字句
忍住不起床斥喝無形的暴風和雷雨
我只是一隻鳥,從樹林中竄起又浮浮晃晃
飛走

是我最感到困擾的東西
是我離開家之後,讓我驕傲虛偽又辛苦的東西
飛走;剛開始,只是想試著飛而已。

——〈我想用森林的漆黑來安慰〉

詩集的薄荷色調,像從湖面往裡看,顏色深的淺的,像水裡有生命在呼吸。
The poems appear floating on a lake. Looking at the different shades of mint color, I could feel there are lives inside of the lake, breathing.