「你是誰？」不管活了多少年，也會被這個問題難到。卸下社會賦予的角色，各種關係、身份後，我們還剩下什麼？
在披上「藝術家」的身份之前，Afa（李思汝）年輕時已有身份危機的焦慮，這份疑惑一直縈繞不散。「當被別人問『你是誰』時，大多數人會以職業來介紹自己，但若然刪去了職業這一欄，你又會是誰呢？進入 AI 時代，讓人們重新思考自己的價值、身份是什麼，生存的意義又是什麼。若然發現沒有，時代自會迫你去尋找，這是一件刻不容緩的事情。」
談到研究 AI 的著名學者 Yuval Noah Harari 最近出版的新書《Nexus》，由智能到 AI、AI 出現對人類的威脅或改變，是我最近很關心又感到很焦慮的議題。「身份認同將會是下一個展覽的主題， AI 會成為其中一個切入點，其中一件作品是模彷 AI 生成圖，創作出 fake the fake 的效果。」
行為藝術家 Marina Abramović 曾說，即使你做出世上最好吃的麵包，你也不是一個藝術家；但倘若你在畫廊裡焗麵包，你就是一個藝術家。Afa 把或真或假的食物帶進藝術空間，在真假之中，與觀眾一起尋找時代裡的立足點。
「我想說一個關於『牛油君』的故事。」
茶餐廳裡的方包，中間夾著一塊淡黃色的牛油，平凡卻美味。「我們常常聽到 bread and butter，它們也算是最佳組合吧，我想借此說一段相生相依的關係，同時也是牛油君如何尋找自己身份的故事。」笑言很喜歡吃牛油的 Afa，小時候試過整塊牛油吃下去，她喜歡得想為它進行平反。「一直覺得牛油很有才華，很多人都會因為牛油而刻意點某種食物，但是它為何不能獨自地展現自己呢？為何要依附在別的東西上才能發光發熱？」
展覽擬定於下年初舉行，Afa 已在密鑼緊鼓地創作，除了平面畫作，這次她會挑戰一些立體作品，當中包括以木雕來模仿食物。「大部分做藝術的人都是不斷從創作中尋找突破點，我不想被定義為具象派畫家，希望透過多媒體的創作，向視覺藝術家的方向進發。 我很享受製作木雕塑的過程，機械的聲音、不斷重覆的動作帶我進入心流的冥想狀態，讓我有很大的滿足感。」
「藝術家必須忠於自己，創作是無法假裝的。」
Afa 筆下的角色盡是圓渾的線條，一個個擁有圓大眼睛的豐滿的女孩；她本人卻喜歡幹練俐落的中性衣著。「我很喜歡牛仔這布料，舒適之餘，又適合自己的風格，所以衣櫥裡擁有很多牛仔衣服，外套、連身裙、腰封，還有不同版型的牛仔褲。」很久以前已與日本職人品牌 45R 合作，Afa 笑說 45R 是讓她喜歡牛仔的原因之一，早前看到它開新店，有種一起成長的感覺。
「它是一個很忠於自己的品牌，不追潮流，也不用任何噱頭，只專心做自己的風格，自然地走出自己的道路。45R 也讓我首次接觸充滿工藝的休閒服，有些是人手縫製、刺繡加工，甚至全球只有幾件的出品，優質的物料和設計，傳遞著十分珍貴的職人精神。它給人一種安心的感覺，是永不過時的服裝。」
在社交媒體盛行的年代，當人人都跟隨潮流來追求流量時，Afa 也難免會受到影響。「我時常提醒自己不要受外界影響，必須相信自己，保持自己的風格是最重要的。」就如當一位藝術家，創作是無法假裝的，只能忠於自己。
今季 Petite Denim 系列中選用了 20 年來的第一款左斜紋布，質地輕、軟、極薄，比傳統的 Rye Mugi 牛仔布更輕，同時保留牛仔布特有的紋理和色調，穿上去更輕盈舒適。
系列充滿很多工藝細節，休閒中不失精緻和心思，帶來多元化的配搭。
忠於自己的創作在某程度上是赤裸地坦露自己，若別人從作品中得到共鳴，成為彼此之間不用言語的連結點，或許能帶走一點孤獨感。
「與內容上的赤裸相比，對我來說，創作上最赤裸的地方是在別人的面前作畫。曾經被委托壁畫創作，在眾目睽睽之下落筆讓我感到很大壓力、很尷尬。想起小時候，長輩看著我畫畫時，就好像看著我寫日記般，每一個思考、每一個下筆都讓我十分害羞。那時候，我會半夜起來畫自己的漫畫，有種很爽快的感覺，好像終於找到屬於自己的世界般。現在想起來，當時的創作是最純粹的，只為自己而畫，是最初心的快樂。」
Afa 說那些夜闌人靜的深夜是她創作的原點、心中很重要的一塊，無時無刻提醒自己每一個創作是不是都有自己的初心。難怪她筆下的角色都像小孩，一雙雙圓渾的眼睛擁有著深邃的靈魂，彷彿在紛亂的世界中拉人一把，不致於迷失方寸。
雖然「身份認同危機」的迷團仍然沒有離去，遊走在合群與離群之間，總有揮之不去的孤獨感，但這一切卻成為了她創作的養分，漸漸地走出一條屬於自己的僻靜小徑。
No matter how many years we’ve lived, the question “Who are you?” can still leave us perplexed. Stripped of the roles and identities assigned by society, what remains of us?
Before donning the identity of an artist, Afa Lee grappled with a sense of identity crisis from a young age; and this lingering uncertainty has been a constant companion in her life. “When someone asks ‘Who are you?’ most people respond with their job title. But if you take away that label, who are you then? In this AI-driven era, we are being pushed to rethink our values, our identities, and the meaning of existence. If you find that you lack answers, the times will compel you to search for them—this urgency is undeniable.”
Yuval Noah Harari’s new book, I, which explores the evolution of intelligence and the implications of AI for humanity, has raised concerns among many. “Identity will be the theme of my next exhibition. I often delve into human relationships through my work, and this time I’ll continue that exploration, using AI as a lens to express the search for self-worth.”
Performance artist Marina Abramović once said, “Even if you make the best bread, you are not an artist; but if you bake bread in a gallery, you are an artist.” Inspired by this, Afa will bring both real and faux food into the art space, inviting the audience to explore contemporary identity together.
“I want to tell a story about Mr. Butter.”
A simple slide of bread with a pat of pale yellow butter from a cha chaan teng (or “tea restaurant”) is unassuming yet delicious. “We often hear how bread and butter is a perfect pairing. And I want to use it to illustrate a mutually dependent relationship, while also telling the story of how Mr. Butter seeks his own identity.” Afa, who loves butter, recalls a childhood moment where she ate an entire block of it, feeling compelled to stand up for this beloved ingredient. “I’ve always thought butter is talented; many people order specific dishes just for the butter. But why can’t it shine on its own? Why does it need to rely on other foods to be appreciated?”
With the exhibition scheduled for early next year, Afa is hard at work creating. In addition to painting, she plans to explore three-dimensional art pieces, including wooden sculptures that mimic food. “Most artists are constantly searching for breakthroughs in their work. I don’t want to be labeled as merely a figurative painter; I hope to explore multimedia art and evolve into a visual artist. I truly enjoy the process of making wooden sculptures—the mechanical sounds and repetitive motions put me in a meditative flow, giving me immense satisfaction.”
“An artist must be true to themselves; creation cannot be faked.”
Afa’s characters are depicted with soft, rounded lines, each with large, expressive eyes, while she herself prefers a clean, androgynous style. “I love denim; it’s comfortable and fits my style. My wardrobe is filled with denim jackets, dresses, and various cuts of jeans.” Long ago, she began collaborating with the Japanese artisan brand 45R, which she credits for her love of denim. When she saw they were opening a new store, it felt like a shared journey.
“45R is a brand that stays true to itself, not chasing trends or gimmicks, but focusing on its own style and naturally paving its path. It also introduced me to high-quality leisurewear infused with craftsmanship—some pieces are hand-stitched and embroidered, and even one-of-a-kind, showcasing exceptional quality and a deep artisan spirit. It gives a sense of reassurance; this is clothing that never goes out of style.”
In this age of social media, where everyone chases trends for attention, Afa finds it challenging to remain unaffected. “I constantly remind myself not to be swayed by external influences. Believing in myself and maintaining my own style is crucial.” For any artist, creation cannot be faked; one must be true to oneself.
This season’s Petite Denim collection features the left-twisted yarn. Lightweight, soft, and ultra-thin, it offers a unique texture and color that’s even lighter than traditional Rye Mugi denim, making it incredibly comfortable to wear.
The collection is rich in artisanal details, blending casual wear with sophistication and thoughtfulness, allowing for diverse styling options.
“The essence of humanity is loneliness.” Creation, to some extent, lays bare the self, resonating as a silent connection between individuals.
“For me, the most vulnerable aspect of creation is painting in front of others. I once had to paint a mural under the scrutiny of many eyes, which filled me with pressure and embarrassment. I recall, when I was small, feeling awkward when elders watched me draw, as if they were peering into my diary, making every thought and brushstroke feel shy. Back then, I would wake myself up in the middle of the night to create comics just for myself, reveling in the freedom of finally finding my own world. Looking back, that was my purest form of creation—drawing solely for myself. That embodies the joy of my original intentions.”
Afa sees those late-night sessions as the heart of her creative journey, a crucial reminder to ensure that each piece she makes retains its authentic purpose. Her characters resemble children, their round eyes possessing their own souls, appearing to guide her through a chaotic world, preventing her from getting lost.
Though the identity crisis remains unresolved, navigating between belonging and isolation often brings an inescapable sense of solitude. Yet this very struggle fuels her creativity, gradually helping her carve a unique path of her own.
