今年冬天不冷，羊絨大衣仍掛在自乾洗店回來的單薄藍色衣架上，暖爐也沒開過多少天，而窗外的葉子，依舊變紅，只是來晚了。
就形單隻影的一棵，那楓香樹種在鄰家院子。旁邊有其他參差不齊的樹木，春夏時，楓香樹與四周的常青樹木混在一起，成一道綠簾，在我睡房窗外婆娑搖曳。偶有餘閑，我坐在窗邊的小沙發看樹、看落在葉子上的陽光、在枝椏上稍稍歇息的候鳥、雙雙飛過的蝴蝶、冉冉悠悠在空中滑過的蜻蜓和院子矮牆上一溜煙竄過的小松鼠。院子裏的樹木長在一隅，鄰家沒人修剪打理，其中一棵樹的枝幹長到我這邊來，如果沒玻璃阻隔，大概伸手可及。有一日，大熱天，我出門時，管理員把我叫着，指着矮牆說他把那段長到我們家的樹幹砍去了，還細說如何費勁才將那段長得茂盛的樹幹除掉，神情好不滿意。我幾乎要哭出來。回到家裏，我跑到睡房去看。窗外驀地禿了一片。樹幹被砍去，留下一個參差不齊的切口，樹蔭沒了，從缺口中窺見泥土、枯黃腐化的落葉。生命被截去，還會長回來嗎？我估不會，畢竟切口那麼大。看着難過，我自此少看風景，小沙發疊起未熨摺的衣物被子靠墊，也被貓佔了作窩。
剛過去的年末大掃除，我難得把家中裏外都打掃一番，也移開睡房裏的小沙發吸塵收拾。忙了一個上午後，我坐在騰空了的小沙發上喝茶休息。啊，楓香樹都轉紅了，平時在屋外樹底下看倒不覺，從在這裹看見樹冠，也看見時節的變迭。忽爾發現，那缺口已被嫩綠的葉子遮蓋。都長回來了。柔軟翠綠，約小孩手掌大，按生長的方向猜測，葉子應該是沿着剩下的幹頭環繞而生，向天空長高。
斷枝無法駁回，切口凝在當天，但葉子還是會不經不覺地長回來，以不同的形態出現，或圓或缺。而曾經的以為、曾經的殘缺，只有隨時間過去，知道後來的轉化，回頭再看也不過爾爾。一切一切，好的壞的，都無礙。
不完美的葉子曲奇
材料：
中筋麵粉 100克
糖霜 40克
伯爵茶茶葉 5克 （若用茶包裏的茶粉，3克即可）
海鹽 一小撮
無鹽牛油 50克
蛋黃 15克
做法：
It’s a warm winter. My woolen coat was still being hung on the flimsy blue hanger from the dry cleaner and the radiator was unplugged most of the day. It came late though, the leaves behind the window turned red regardless.
A lonesome tree planted in the corner of our neighbouring garden – the sweet gum was surrounded by other trees in all shapes and sizes that, in spring and summer, they form a green curtain outside of my bedroom window, swaying in the sweet breeze. When I had the time, I liked sitting on the single-seater sofa by the window to gaze at the trees, sunbeams that fell on the leaves, butterflies flying by in pairs, dragonflies leisurely hovering in the air and tiny squirrels slipped by the low wall of the garden. The trees grew in the garden corner without much trimming and care, and one of the branches grew beyond the wall that I could have touched if there wasn’t a glass panel. On one hot summer day, the doorman stopped me when I was on the way out. Pointing at the trees, he said, in a look of great satisfaction, that he had taken down the branch extended to our driveway and how much effort it took him to chop off that piece of healthy branch covered with green leaves. I nearly cried. When I returned home, I rushed to my bedroom and looked out of the window – an abrupt hollow among the green. The branch was chopped, leaving a brutally jagged cut face, and with no more shading, one could see the soil and fallen leaves in rot. A part of life was taken, could it even grow back? I guessed not. The cut was immense after all. I couldn’t bear to look at the void and rarely look out of the window since then, leaving my sofa piled up with clean laundry yet to press, throws and cushions, as well as making the perfect day bed for the cat.
In Spring cleaning before Chinese New Year, I cleaned the apartment inside out, in which I also moved the sofa in the bedroom for vacuuming and tidying up. After spending a morning on the household chores, I sank back on my sofa that was at last emptied for a tea break. Ah, the sweet gum leaves had turned red. I didn’t notice the change when I walked under shade outside of the garden every day. Now looking from above where I could see the tree crown, I also saw the change of the season, and all of a sudden, I found that the hollow was already filled up with young leaves, looking tender and green, with the size of a kid’s palm. Judging from the growing direction, the new leaves grew around the remains from the chopped branch, up and up to the sky.
What is severed cannot be mended and the wound is left as is on that very day. The leaves, however, will grow back still, silently, in different forms and shapes, round or chipped. As time passes by, all guesses one once had and imperfections will show their impermanence, and when look back on hitches, well, they were just that. Everything and all, be it good or bad, just be.
Imperfect Leaf Cookies
Ingredients
All-purpose flour 100g
Icing sugar 40g
Earl Grey tea leaves 5g (3g if you are using tea powder in tea)
Sea salt A tiny pinch
Unsalted butter 50g
Egg yolk 15g
Steps:
Jo Liu
It’s raining outside, crisp and bleak. Three chubby sparrows took shelter on my balcony and I gave them the baguette bits left on my breakfast plate but they flew away. I stayed in, played Damien Rice on vinyl and made apple crumble. Repeat.
Instagram: foodialoguehk
