跟朋友相約吃午飯、看展覽，甫碰面，她已見面青唇白，說有點不適，大概去餐廳坐坐便好。是吃雪糕惹的禍。別人硬給她一大份雪糕，她婉拒不過，為了不想浪費，便吃掉了那份她不想吃也不該吃的雪糕。不過幾分鐘的路程，她幾乎沒法完成，我說不如去看醫生吧，她說不要；那我送你回家吧，她揮揮手。我攙扶她去到預訂了的餐廳，把她安頓好，便向職員詢問最近的藥房在哪裏。在陌生的街角轉了幾圈，藥買到了，不禁有點生氣，她怎麼就不懂得拒絕呢，怎樣就是不會好好照顧自己呢。
回到餐廳裏，她仍伏在桌子上，冷汗直流。給她倒了點溫水服了藥。店員此時過來，問有甚麼可以幫忙嗎，我問有沒有熱的薑茶。正值午餐時間，小餐廳早已滿坐，門外還有人在等，店員向身後的水吧同事說了幾句，那女生一邊忙着手裏調製中的牛奶咖啡，一邊搖搖頭，然後好像突然想起甚麼，着那男生去廚房，叫誰給他拿些甚麼甚麼過來。「喂喂」不一會，水吧女生輕輕喚我，從水吧後伸長雙手，遞了杯熱薑蜜，示意我接過去。
我攪拌一下薑蜜，摸了摸杯子，覺得溫度合適了，讓朋友喝。吃了藥，看來也沒舒緩多少，我再提議送她回家，她點點頭，同時低聲說「對不起，破壞了你的周末，對不起」。我們認識多年，這麼多年，她時常因為不想讓別人失望、為着遷就別人而妥協，最後由得自己難受。這點、亦只有這點老是叫人生悶氣，然而，心腸軟的人又沒法叫人氣得下去。她也有該反省的地方，該學習的課題。我們都有吧。
「不介意的話，先披着我的外套吧。」看似店長的人遞來一件男裝外套，我道謝，接過外套，給朋友披上，轉過頭來，他已繼續忙着工作。我不好意思打擾了小店，快快在手機程式上叫了計程車，然後在前台結帳。車子幾分鐘後來到，我半抱半拉着她上了車，司機問她是不適嗎，車子要開慢點嗎，冷氣要調低一點嗎？啊，怎樣今天遇到這麼多心地善良的人。車開動了，我抱緊朋友在我臂彎，來到這刻我終於舒一口氣。
安全抵步，安頓了她，我便動身回家。已過午餐時間，我也再沒精力煮甚麼，便切了幾顆剛好熟透的無花果，在一個小小的Brillat-Sarvarin芝士上劃了幾刀，撒了把核桃果仁，澆上蜜糖，在陽台上剪了幾枝百里香，全放到焗爐裏烤個十分鐘，最後一分鐘放進早餐剩下的兩片酸種麵包。出爐了，香氣四溢，我撕了一角那片亞麻籽吐司，直接往芝士裏挖，吃一口，放片烤軟了的無花果，再吃一口。柔軟又溫暖。我再多澆些蜜糖，芝士的鹹香更立體。
吃過簡餐，我在廚房洗碗，放空，忽爾意識到自己好久好久沒動氣了。即使想生氣，察覺到情緒要來了，一轉念，情緒立刻便過去。生氣往往需要一個對象，別人、自己或者一件事情的發生，都是無法掌控的，怒氣也沒法改變已發生的人和事，情緒後遺，只成自己要承受的果。生活裏時時都發生讓人不高興的事，例如，店員為了應付生病客人，額外處理了日常工作以外的事情，工作流程也被打亂；若是別人來用餐的話，餐廳本可以多賺些錢；計程車司機若以平常速度開車，我們快點到達目的地，他或許可以快點接載下一位乘客。然而，他們都沒有露出一絲不悅，反之處處包容和體諒。每每遇上善良的人，除了感恩，亦但願自己的心能與他們一樣柔軟溫暖。
I was going to meet up with a friend for lunch and to visit an exhibition. As soon as we met, she already looked pale, saying that she felt a little bit sick and probably would get better after sitting down at the restaurant. Ice cream was the culprit. Someone had insisted on giving her a huge bowl of ice cream. Her gentle refusal was in vain. She ended up eating the ice cream she didn’t want and shouldn’t have eaten, for not wanting to waste the food. Now, a few minutes’ walk was simply too much for her. I suggested seeing a doctor, but she refused. I offered to send her home then. She waved me off. I helped her to the restaurant we had a reservation with, got her settled and asked the staff where the closest pharmacy was. In a neighbourhood I wasn’t familiar with, I walked a few blocks away and got the medicine. I couldn’t help but feel a bit mad; why couldn’t she just say no once and for all, and why couldn’t she take better care of herself?
Back in the restaurant, she was still lying on the table, covered in cold sweat. I poured her a glass of warm water and gave her the medicine. A server came over and asked if there was anything they could help. I asked if they had hot ginger tea. It was right in lunch hour; the small restaurant was already full and there was a line outside. The server mumbled to his colleague behind the bar counter, the young lady shook her head while her hands were still busy making a cup of latte. Seconds later, she seemed to remember something and asked the young man to head to the kitchen to ask someone to get him something. “Hey”, the young lady called me over in a low voice and reached out from behind the bar counter to hand me a cup of hot ginger honey tea.
I gave the sweet tea a stir and felt the temperature on the cup. Cool enough. I gave it to my friend to drink. Despite the medicine, she didn’t seem to be getting any better, so, I suggested again to send her home. She nodded. “So sorry for ruining your weekend. So sorry.” She whispered. We have known each other for years, and all these years, it’s been frustrating to see her compromising for the sake of not disappointing others. But with someone so soft-hearted, it’s not possible for me to stay angry. She has things to reflect on and lessons to learn. We all do.
“Take my coat if you don’t mind.” Another young man who seemed to be the manager handed me a men’s coat. I thanked him and put it over my friend’s shoulders. He was busy with his work when I turned around to look for him. Feeling uneasy being a disturbance to the modest eatery, I called for a cab through the app as soon as I could before checking out the bill at the cashier. The cab arrived in just a few minutes. Dragging almost, I held my friends in my arms and helped her get onto the car. The driver asked if she’s unwell, and if he should drive slower or turn down the air-conditioning. Ah, how come the people I met today were all so kind. The cab started moving, she in my arms, and I finally let out a sigh of relief.
Arriving at her home safe and having her settled, I headed home. It was way past lunchtime, and I didn’t have the energy to cook anything, so I cut up a few ripe figs, scored the top of a small wheel of Brillat-Sarvarin cheese, threw in some chopped walnuts, drizzled some honey and snipped a few sprigs of fresh thyme from the balcony and put everything into an hot oven for 10 minutes.I threw in two slices of sourdough bread I couldn’t finish in breakfast into the oven in the last minute. A sweet aroma filled the kitchen when I took the tray out from the oven. I tore off a corner of the toast and dipped deep into the cheese and had a bite, and I had another bite with the fig wedges baked soft. It was soft and warm. I drizzled more honey, and the savoury taste of the cheese became more pronounced.
After the simple meal, I washed the dishes, spaced out. All of a sudden, I realised that I hadn’t actually been angry for a long, long time. Even when on the verge of getting angry, I was aware of the emotion and able to transcend it – the emotion then passed. Anger often needs a target to manifest on, be it someone else, yourself or even the development of an incidence. Whatever it is, it is beyond our control, and being angry won’t change whatever has already happened. We, ourselves, will be the only one suffering from the emotion. In life, things that may upset us happen all the time. For instance, the extra work a restaurant staff had to deal with because of a sick customer disrupting their workflow, the restaurant could have a better turnover if the customers had been someone else, the cab driver could have taken on more passengers if he had driven at a normal speed and gotten us to the destination sooner. But they were full of patience and compassion instead of showing any sign of annoyance. Feeling grateful of course, when I meet any kind soul, I also hope that my heart will be as warm and tender as theirs one day.
無花果蜜糖烤芝士
原個Brillat-Sarvarin芝士 1個，約250克 （也可用Brie或Camembert等軟芝士）
新鮮無花果 2-3顆
核桃果仁 5顆
蜜糖 兩湯匙
新鮮百里香 兩枝
麵包 兩片
做法：
- 焗爐預熱至 200°C
- 芝士原個放在小焗盤裏，可墊上烘焙紙，用小刀在芝士頂部????幾道「井」字
- 每個無花果切成 6 份，放在芝士上
- 核桃略略切碎，灑在無花果上
- 淋上蜜糖，放上百里香，放進焗爐烤 10-12分鐘至軟身
- 麵包烘至香脆，沾芝士同吃
Baked Cheese with Figs and Honey
Brillat-Sarvarin cheese 1 wheel, about 250g (can be replaced with other kinds of soft cheese like brie or camembert)
Fresh fig 2-3 pieces
Walnut 5 pieces
Honey 2 tablespoons
Fresh thyme 2 sprigs
Bread of your choice 2 slices
Steps:
- Preheat the oven to 200°C
- Place the cheese in a small baking dish, line it with parchment paper if you prefer, and score the top of the cheese.
- Cut each fig into 6 wedges and place them on the cheese.
- Roughly chop up the walnuts and sprinkle them on the figs.
- Top off with honey and thyme. Bake for 10-12 minutes until the cheese softens.
- Toast the bread and dip it into the cheese.
Jo Liu
It’s raining outside, crisp and bleak. Three chubby sparrows took shelter on my balcony and I gave them the baguette bits left on my breakfast plate but they flew away. I stayed in, played Damien Rice on vinyl and made apple crumble. Repeat.
Instagram: foodialoguehk
